About that long silence…

silence from a telephone off the hook

For several weeks, I stopped blogging. Perhaps you noticed, though I won’t be offended if you didn’t.

I had a very darn good reason to stop, but let me tell you, putting blogging to the side was a HARD choice for me to make.

For two-and-a-half years, I faithfully sat in this chair (or couch or bed) and hammered out the message God pressed on my heart. Because that’s what I had committed to God to do.

Every week. Faithfully. In the chair. And faithfully, every week, He gave me a message to share.

Until a couple of months ago. Right around the end of July, the messages started to dry up. The fire was squelched.

I struggled to keep up with my promise. Struggled to care about my promise. And I felt horrible about it. I felt like I had failed God.

How could I love Him and yet not keep my commitment to Him? Continue reading

A (kindergarten) mother’s prayer to let go

prayertoletgo

She still wears animal prints. Everywhere. Always.

 

This prayer was originally published back in February, around the time of my baby girl’s birthday. Today, I reblog it because THIS is exactly where I am this week.

I sent her off to kindergarten, and my heart is in need of some quality God time because of it. #mommyneedsapsalm

If your heart is in need of a little pick-me-up-God, pray with me…again.

***

Dear Lord,

I look at my child, and I see innocence. I see vulnerability. I see the child with tiny, sweet voice asking for mommy.

If I had a choice, I would keep her in this place, all chub and sippy cups, cracker crumbs and stuffed animals.

I would lock her to me, breathe in the scent of her hair and whisper “Mommy loves you.” Always.

If I had a choice, I would pretend I can’t hear You say the time draws near.

I would pretend we see her the same — she’s just a baby girl. Continue reading

My husband sends me boring emails, and I keep every one

boring email from husband to wife

This is marriage.

 

He sent me another one today. A short email to say he would try to be home a little earlier so I could get in a couple of hours of work before we were due at our girls’ back-to-school night.

A boring email.

He sends me a lot of such emails.

I can’t remember the last time he sent me a flowery love email like some women get. Or a simple “thinking of you” message. (Though he does give beautiful cards for special occasions.)

From an outside perspective, the emails he sends me are nothing special. Mundane at best. But I keep every stinkin’ one of them. I have since we first started dating, back when he DID send me love messages.  Continue reading